do_improve

This blog will only be used as a personal blog from now on

Okay, Its time to just heck care about my blog. Been awhile posting all sorts of nonsense, doesn't work well on me, as in trying to post everyday. No events to actually post, and lack the feelings to even post.

So, might as well just closed this blog.

In any case, let me just update about my dota career.
A 2nd in alienware competition where i brought home a 21" LCD monitor for free. Imagining yourself carry a bulky package which weigh at least 5-6 kg from dhoby gaut all the way to woodland, its freaking heavy that you will have the feel of tearing your shoulder muscles.

Afterwhich, an unknown competition, we got a 3rd. Nothing much to say, but we are still at a stage in between the pros and the weak. Doesn't seem to get to the level of the pros in singapore. Hope one day in the final period i be playing dota, we can achieve a champion title and be recognized in the international scene.

"Past is meant for learning
Present is meant to do your best
Future is meant for you to aim"

School life have also been quite sucky since the decision of coming to poly. But at least i got to learn alot of things from other aspects, friends and others while in my poly life. My life might have change if i went to jc, but nothing happens for no reasons. I believe the choice of coming to polytechnic isn't as bad of a decision as what i think. At least i have more freedom, and a stressless environment that allows me to multi focus. Previously where i lost myself to my emotions, that feeling was so unbearable. lol. but at least, its an experience.

Going for what you want, no matter how hard you work for, the result may not go according to what you want. But if you never even try, your 100% not gonna get anything. I have been and will still be heading my life with this mindset.

Everyone life changes, no matter who you are, for the good or for the bad, life still continue. I'm not gonna waste any more time getting emotional setback and spent more time in stuffs that allow me to zhen qu the situation i want to be in. No matter if it gonna fail, its time to strive for your desired life you wanna live for!

~!BLOG OFFICIALLY CLOSED ON THE 22nd JAN 2010!~

Just got back from an online competition. A 3rd in it, though its also counted as winning, but its so sad that we can never compete in the top level yet. Hope the new version of dota will put us back on track.

Alot of stuffs are suddenly on my mind, got to clear it asap to make more times for other things. Especially in social aspect, hope i get to know more people and still keep a close friendship with the current, most importantly, not worsen.

Argh, school again tomorrow, damn!

To do list:
Final report
Catia assignment
and others small upcoming stuffs to do.

The 2 main parts will at least take me a month to complete it in an A grade format, any kind hearted strong CATIA or strong language human want to give me a push at this?

I need as much help as possible since i had already screwed up my oral presentation.

"Seems cold"

Situation got to the worst part i predicted.

Worst part is, I'm felt so terrible for a freaking reason not cause of me. Naise..

Autumn concerto is officially the 4th drama that make me drop tears! And its quite nice, somehow like starlit.

Rwp report tomorrow. Hope that i get back on my emotions and not screwed it up.

Went off to paya lebar in my friend car. Cool, his strong at driving.

Only got to drive it when around wdl area. the feeling is nice, totally make me forget of anything else.

What can i do if every option is being closed. idk what to do anymore

Even dota became such noob guy. lol. Affected or just am i that sux? i dont want to admit it but, i guess its the problem of my ownself for the time being. No1 to blame but myself that this scenario happen to me. Regret? Mistake? Emotions? Nothing matters if you lose in the end.

Am i really affected? idk anymore.

Gonna try to master everything i have now. Gonna achieve back and improve anything that im holding on.

Gonna go inactive for awhile to brush things up. Studies, life, games, emotions, mental, motivation n etc.

Bowling any1? Gonna master the new technique i learnt.

I wonder if we can become good once again? It seems like i hurt a people cause of a dumb logic in my dumb head. Officially counted as a 3rd regret of my life. Hope this won't really make you change your mindset of me. I really cherish you.

Like what marvin say, i gonna throw everything out this time. Thick skin, sensible, caring, everything from head to toe, i got to learn everything and present myself better.

Life in school has been sian into the 2nd day of school. But still manageable, now only left with few things to do. Gonna get the most important 1 settled 1st!

Been a long day, 5 hours waiting for a 7min firework. Quite nice but hate the going back part, haha.

Die trying, hang on to even the last thread of a rope. Thats my motto for this 2010. No matter is study, social, personal or even commitment, never give up untill the result determined it.

People do mistake, and then people try to ammend it, but by ammending ur mistakes, nothing will become better. Some1 made me realise that, its like ur doing a exam paper which give u answer along the spot. You made a mistake and answered the 1st question wrongly, u tried to ammend ur mistakes and got it correct for the 2nd question, but in the end, the marks deducted for question 1 is still there, so by ammending mistakes, your only stopping urself from repeating the same mistake, but never once were it to cover for the previous mistake u made!

So guys, try to do everything with care, do not make any slightest mistake in ur life, it will eventually lead to regretness even if u ammended that mistake!

Life where emotion controlled my mind is over, 2009 is gone, time to have mind over body! Doing things that seems impossible to me previously! 1.5 years is all the time i have to spend freely, its more than enough to hang on.

"Really hope something good happen in 2010, no need others, just that particular 1 which i cant control!"

Last but not least,
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

And also, sorry for not able to attend sec dinner. haha. I organise 1 again!

Gonna die waiting... Did u just ko-ed? or? i'm starting to think worser and worser. I be waiting for even a slight sms call or what shit. Be safe.

This feeling sux

Back from 2 days of not sleeping normally.

Overnight mahjong and primary school chalet is killing my energy rapidly. haha. Doesn't really wanna post much. Quite average chalet where talking became more fun than doing any other activities!

Guess it be long till we gonna meet up nextime.

Xmas soon. Hope you guys have a nice enjoyable day while i most probably gonna slack at home doing nothing. LOL!

Wish me luck tomorrow, PLEASE, A KIND TESTER WILL BE APPRECIATED!

Waoh. Today was a hetic day. Got 2nd for a competition, though quite wasted, but at least better than nothing.

Lost due to draft, guess i and ja are the main fault! lol. sad to say, but no point to dwell over it, its time to think of new strat, but before that, 1 week of rest!!!

Traffic police test next. And before that, a chalet organised. Once i pass the tp test, i will be free from almost everything that is tying me down.

I sincerely pray to god, Let me pass please!

1am in the morning. and here i am still blogging.. Damn sian, lol, just ended 1 60min game. SHAG! But wah, you got great improvement. haha

Thinking i have to go out tomorrow morning till night time just to go bai shen. WAH! sian but what can i do, got competition on sunday. Emo. lol. Any1 kind enough to sms me tml from as early as 10am? lol. ill be damn super bored all the way to night time. Some kind soul please chat with me. LOL!

Currently waiting for training, how long will i stay awake today? i guess i be dead at 2plus! lol

Had a fun day today even though its just job hunting for u. U changed quite abit. Way of speech. BTW, its a compliment lol

"Seeing you is like dream come true"

2 weeks have past just like this. I'm left with 2 more weeks of holiday! SO FAST!

Competition Final might be on this weekend, this means we will not have a full squad competing.... What logic is this. We finally got this chance, this squad, this lineup, this far, yet we cant end it with our finest squad!!!

So gonna regret it if we lost due to no full squad. But theres no choice i guess.

Job interview tomorrow? More like accompanying. Don't think they will actually employ me since i'm left with only 2 weeks of holidays. In addition, 3-4 days next week, i cant even work. Traffic police exam, chalet and driving lesson.

Freaking chengxuan, where the hell you went to. Date is closing in, find a day to talk about and plan for it!
LOL! busy flirting with that girl right~ lol

Theres still so many things to do! Catia aerofoil thingy, AEIS mini project, Last but not least, Report writing! I don't even have any idea how to start. Gonna be damn busy at the last week of holiday already.

Off to training.

My network is so freaking useless. Been playing tantrum and it suddenly goes off for hours yesterday.

Went to sakura today, the food there is not bad. Free delicacies for lunch. Thanks to our teacher incharge!

Then went off to bugis to find terance they all. They look like some ladies buying things! LOL. Keep wearing here there, then take off, change other 1, think whether to buy it or not, look at price. It reminds me of accompanying girl to shopping! LOL

Ariff was actually right on some part. Seems like i dun have the luck for girls. lol. Issit your phone or issit you. Sian.

Chat with me any1~

Short update about the past few days.

Poly bbq. And had my clothes all thrown into the pool.. Kid is so much of a walking accident zone. DAMN. But doesnt matter. BBQ was okay, though some bad things happen. but overall its nice.

Went to driving lesson today and i learnt quite abit to improve my driving. 2 more lessons and im off to my traffic police test. PLEASE, LET ME PASS!!!

Such misfortune happen to me in just 1 day...

First of all, went over to weijie house at ferrer park early in the morning to swim. Then got this damn china kid who seems like playing with us. But out of nowhere, he started throwing our shirt into the pool. And all my clothes got so wet.

Next, we went off to buy bbq food. Nothing much happen. But after we started eating, willie was being thrown into the pool. A small kid was then hit to the ground by Alvin when willie is somehow chasing alvin for "revenge". LOL

Afterwards, while we are trying to clear all the tables, we actually accidentally broke a glass table. lol. Wonder how expensive it will get. But overall, its quite successful.

Thursday will be roller blade session guys!

"I can't do any thing anymore. Just too busy of u."

Finally ended my mst. Not bad. Should be able to score more than 80% for every module.

Quite tired though. Tomorrow still got to wake up early to go swim bowl/pool at my friend house, in addition of a class chalet.

Bball pool mahjong or any outings any1? Ring me up! Got 3 weeks of free time

Waoh. Finish you're beautiful. Nice show indeed.

After that, started on my revision for AEIS. Been trying to memorise all 100+ mcq. Using my own method. i manage to remember 90% of the question once i see it. Just hope tomorrow will come out those questions that is within the 90%. And getting 100 will be within my reach.

Haven't start on my math though. But i guess i can study it after my AEIS test. It will most probably take only 2 hours. Hope i can master it within that timing.

This week have quite alot of events. Tomorrow having test, and most probably it will drain up my whole day concentration.

Friday having a class bbq.

Sat & sun will be my competition. No time to relax. Full concentration!

Back to team training. Pray for my victory!

Finally up to last episode of You're beautiful, a K drama. It's more of a romance drama, but it isn't as bad as i think. Gonna start watching K drama i guess.

Tears drop for the 2nd time. I guess im a human too. Becoming more and more emotional isn't that bad i suppose.

Learn quite alot. Comparison? Hmm. I guess i lost at that point in time. No more nextime.
Time to listen more to the heart than the brain/logic. Just do what i want will be my new motto. No more stopping due to principles and everything that obstruct what i wanna do.

All out. Alienware competition. Time to DESTROY all other teams!

How i wish i didn't went.
How i wish i'm not around.
How i wish that...

Previously, lost without a definite reason.
Now, i lost miserably.
In addition, i lost all will to fight.
Needa have some quiet time to calm myself i guess.

How i wish there's some1 for me to talk to. But is it just me? Timing, coincident? everything just don't work out for me. No1 seem to feel it.

What should i do? Feel damn pain.....
I don't want to let go, but its too much for me to take.

The 1st time i felt, think like this. Whatever i don't know back then, now i understand everything.

Waoh. Yesterday came back quite late, and totally forgot to update.

Hmm, went early in the morning over to woodland centre to do a dbs debit card. Hope my signature will actually seems alike. lol. If not get rejected, it be so waste of time. Pool after and went off to mahjong at marvin house.

Marvin seems stronger at mahjong when his mum is actually talking to him. I wonder why. LOL!

1 week more to the major alienware dota competition, i just hope we can win that, its already handicapped for us, getting rid of the top 3 teams in singapore. RoL will be our strongest opponent. If we managed to slip past them. 1st/2nd will be no problem to us.

Muchi, u got to bulk up

]alex[ signing off